What to Do When Someone Is Too Drunk: A Get-Home-Safe Checklist

Your friend's birthday started at a bar and drifted to someone's apartment, and it's almost 1 a.m. The person you brought, on your third date, is sitting on the kitchen floor laughing at nothing. You ask if they're okay. They ask you the same question back, twice.

Here's what to do when someone is too drunk, whether it's a date, a friend or a coworker: from this moment, you have one job. Get them back to their own place, or into the hands of someone they trust. Not your place. Not a hotel. Not "somewhere to lie down for a bit." Anything else between the two of you can wait until they're sober.

The checklist below runs in order: figure out how bad it is, then handle the party, the ride, the door and the next day. Every item is something you can see or do. Save it now. You'll think more clearly with a list than you will at 1 a.m.

First, figure out what kind of night this is

How drunk someone is isn't about how many drinks they've had. It's about how they're doing right now.

You don't need every sign in that last row. One is enough to call. And one fact catches a lot of people off guard: alcohol keeps moving from the stomach into the bloodstream after the last drink, so someone can get drunker after they've stopped. "They're just sleeping it off" is not a safe assumption.

At the party or bar: before anyone leaves

1. Cut off the drinks and switch to water. If someone tries to top them off, step in: "They're good for tonight. I've got them on water." Small sips are fine. Don't push water on someone who's barely awake.
2. Don't let them go off alone. Not to the bathroom for twenty minutes, not outside for air. That's when people choke on vomit, wander toward the street or get "helped" by someone they barely know. Send a friend of theirs along.
3. Find their person. Ask directly: "Who should I call? Your roommate, your sister, someone here?" If they can't answer, ask whoever at the party knows them best. The best version of tonight ends with them next to someone they picked.
4. Skip the coffee, the cold shower and the walk around the block. None of these clears alcohol any faster. They just make someone look more sober than they are, which makes everyone relax too early. Only time sobers someone up.
5. Gather their stuff. Phone, wallet, keys, jacket. A charged phone means someone can reach them once they're home.

Getting them home

1. Order an Uber or Lyft and share the trip. Both apps let you send the live route to someone else. Send it to their friend or roommate, note the plate, and confirm their address with the driver. Their address, not yours.
2. If they drove, they're not driving. Hold onto the keys. The car can be picked up tomorrow. If you've been drinking, you're not driving either.
3. Decide who rides with them based on how they're doing. Tipsy but clear: a shared trip and "text me when you're in" is enough. Drunk and unsteady: don't put them in a car alone. Ideally someone they trust goes with them. If that's only you, ride to their door and keep a friend of theirs in the loop.
4. There's only one destination. Their home, or the home of someone they trust. Not "my place is closer, you can crash there." A near-stranger's apartment is the hardest place to leave when you're drunk. Even if nothing happens, waking up there can be genuinely frightening.

At their door, and the next morning

1. Watch them get inside, then go. If they say "come up for a bit," the answer is "Get some sleep. Talk tomorrow." An invitation from someone that drunk doesn't count, however much you like each other. Our free lesson drunk people can't consent walks through how to read someone's state.
2. Hand them off if someone's home. If they live alone and they're clearly drunk, get a friend of theirs to come stay. If they're too drunk to be left alone and nobody they trust can come, that's your reason to call 911.
3. Ask for a check-in. "Text me when you're in" is plenty, or ask their roommate to let you know.
4. Send one low-key text the next day. "Hope you're feeling okay. Drink some water." Skip "you were hilarious last night" and "next round's on you." Looking after someone isn't a favor they now owe you.
5. Don't film it, don't post it, don't send it to the group chat. Them asleep on your shoulder in the Uber isn't Instagram story material. The same goes for things they said. If they told you "I think I'm falling for you" at 1 a.m., let them decide sober whether they meant it.

Our free lesson on getting them home safe runs through these moments as short scenarios, including how to answer that "sorry I drank so much" text.

If you call 911: what to do while you wait

People hesitate to call because they don't want to overreact or get anyone in trouble. Paramedics have seen far more drunk people than you have, and a call that turns out to be nothing is the best possible outcome. Many states and colleges also have medical amnesty rules meant for exactly this situation. Either way, the paramedic's job is their health.

While you wait:

• Roll them onto their side. Bend the top knee to hold them there, with the face tilted slightly down so they won't choke if they vomit. Don't leave them flat on their back.
• Stay with them. Say their name now and then, and watch their breathing.
• Don't give them food, don't put them in a cold shower, and don't try to make them throw up.
• Tell the paramedics what you know. What they drank, roughly how much, how long ago, and any medications or drugs.
• If they drank very little but seem far too drunk, say you think their drink may have been spiked. It changes how they're treated and may need a police report.

The dispatcher will talk you through what to do on the call. Follow their lead.

Two traps: "Let's go to your place" and "I'll take them home"

They suggest going to your place. Drunk people say things they wouldn't say sober, including "I don't want to go home, let's go to yours." Whose idea it was doesn't matter. What matters is whether they can make that decision right now. Keep it simple: "Tonight you're going home. I'm getting you a car." For why alcohol undercuts a yes, see can you consent while drunk?

Someone else volunteers. The office happy hour is breaking up. Your coworker can barely stand, and a guy from another team you've met once says, "I'm a few blocks away, she can crash at mine." She keeps nodding with her eyes half closed.

Someone who can only nod can't choose who to leave with. You don't have to accuse anyone. Just make the plan public: "We've got her. I already texted her roommate." Then do it.

If you were asked to keep an eye on someone and you need to leave, say it out loud: "I've got to head out. Who's taking over?" Leave once someone actually has. At a bar or restaurant, staff can help too.

If you think someone was drugged, or you learn someone took advantage of a person who was drunk, put safety first. RAINN's hotline is 1-800-656-4673, and in an emergency, call 911. If the person who was drunk is the one who feels afterward that something wasn't right, our guide to sorting through whether it was consent covers what to do next.

Before your next night out

The best use of this checklist is never needing it. The prep that actually helps happens before you leave: set an emergency contact in your phone, agree with a friend that you arrive together and leave together, and on a date, pick somewhere easy to get home from.

When you're the one drinking, the same rules apply to you. First date safety tips covers what to set up before meeting someone new, and our first-date safety checklist lesson turns it into five steps. For how to say goodnight and how far to walk someone, see how to end a date. Our article on approaching someone at a bar covers the stop rule for anywhere drinks are involved, and more on consent lives on our consent topic page.

If you get this right, the next morning is boring: one groggy "thanks for getting me home" text, and nothing else to discuss. Boring is the goal.

FAQ

Should you let a drunk person sleep it off?

Not on their own, and not if they're very drunk. Alcohol keeps absorbing after the last drink, and someone asleep can vomit and choke. If they're only tipsy and answering normally, have them lie on their side with someone nearby. If they're hard to wake or their breathing is slow or irregular, call 911.

Does coffee or a cold shower help sober someone up?

No. Coffee, cold water and fresh air don't speed up how fast the body clears alcohol. They can make someone seem more alert than they are, which is the risky part. Only time lowers blood alcohol.

What position should a drunk person sleep in?

On their side, with the top knee bent to keep them from rolling onto their back, and the face tilted slightly down. That way, if they vomit, it drains out instead of back into the airway. Someone should check on them regularly.

What if they insist they're fine and want to go home alone?

If they're speaking clearly and walking steadily, respect it. Order the ride, share the trip with a friend of theirs and ask for a text when they're in. If they're slurring or unsteady, "I'm fine" isn't the deciding vote. Get a friend of theirs to help persuade them, or wait with them until someone they trust arrives.

What if I've been drinking too?

Then your judgment is off as well, which is a reason to bring in sober people: a friend who hasn't been drinking, bar staff, a rideshare instead of your own car. When you've both been drinking, the best decision is not to decide anything tonight. If you like each other, you'll still like each other at brunch.