Dating phrasebook: 311 lines for dating and relationships, each with context

A good line isn't a spell; it's an honest sentence that's easy to answer, said in the right moment. Every line here comes with the scene, why it works and when to skip it. Lines marked "Red light" are manipulative and are here only so you can recognize them.

311 lines · 18 scenes · 22 templates · 34 red-light lines

Glossary Signal library

What the good lines have in common

1Say why you're thereWho you are and what you want, said out loud, so they don't have to guess.
2Say it with certaintyStatements, no "kind of" or "maybe," no apologizing first, no handing them a reason to say no.
3Stop at noHesitation counts too. Don't ask why; let it go with a smile.

Scenes

Opening lines18 lines"Hi. I was walking past and noticed the color of your jacket. Great choice. I wanted to come meet you. And no, I'm not selling anything.""If I didn't come say hi today, I'd regret it all day. I'm Alex."Open this scene Keeping it going18 lines"That reminds me: I was halfway up a trail once when a gang of monkeys started stealing people's sandwiches, and I froze. What's the most ridiculous thing that's happened to you on a hike?""How did you end up in consulting? Was it the plan all along, or did you take a detour to get there?"Open this scene Texting and apps19 linesAlex here, the succulent guy from the bookstoreI'm betting your little cactus doesn't make it through the weekThat mountain shot has to be HehuanI nearly froze solid up there. How did you survive that wind?Open this scene Dry replies and silence13 linesYou've been quieter latelyBusy, or not into chatting anymore?OK. Talk another timeOpen this scene Teasing and tough questions22 lines"No idea about average, but I like who I am. What about you?""I'm on a date with you. Who else would I look at?"Open this scene Asking for a number9 lines"I've got to run. Give me your Instagram. I'm taking you for coffee this week.""Because I want to take you out. Today wasn't enough."Open this scene Asking someone out16 linesThursday night, that ramen place you mentionedSeven. I'll get there early and hold a spot in line"I'm checking out that new bar on Friday. Come with me."Open this scene Flakes and rain checks14 linesRest upThe movie's not going anywhere. We'll go when you're betterGo studyThe day it's over, I'm taking you out to celebrate your freedomOpen this scene On the date21 lines"Your phone's busy tonight. Finish up; I'll go get us drinks.""You're quiet today. Did work drain you dry?"Open this scene Moving closer, with consent15 lines"It's way too loud in here. Come on, the place next door is quieter. Let's keep talking there.""I'm not ready to call it a night. That dessert place around the corner is open till eleven. Ten minutes' walk."Open this scene Showing interest16 lines"Busted. Yes, I like you.""I like you, and I want to keep seeing you."Open this scene Taking a no14 lines"Lucky guy. Nice meeting you.""Sure."(Smile, and go.)Open this scene Arguments and apologies18 lines"That last comment hit a nerve. I didn't know that mattered to you. I'm sorry; I'll be more careful.""We're both too heated. I'm taking ten minutes, then I'll come back and we'll keep talking."Open this scene Boundaries and saying no16 lines"Don't call me that. Call me Alex.""That made me really uncomfortable. Don't do it again."Open this scene Everyday relationship lines16 lines"Come here. Lean on me. Whenever you want to talk, I'm listening.""Let's get the bottle from that night. I still think about it."Open this scene Ending things10 lines"I've thought about this for a long time, and I've decided to end things. It's not that something's wrong with you; I don't feel that way about us anymore.""We want different things, so I'm stopping here. Thank you for this time."Open this scene Universal templates22 lines"I saw you something specific, thought your honest reaction, and wanted to come meet you.""That reminds me of your related experience. What about you: same theme?"(Ask with 'where' or 'what,' not 'have you ever')Open this scene Red-light lines34 linesRed light: for recognition only"My stomach really hurts all of a sudden. Just come with me to grab my medicine, it'll be quick.""I just need to grab some documents upstairs, it'll be quick. Come up with me, waiting down here is boring."Open this scene

One word apart

Same meaning, but one word, one punctuation mark or one space apart, and you sound like a different person. Every line here is worded and punctuated on purpose; these are the differences that come up most. Struck through means cut; highlighted means added.

Instead of"Hi, I ~~just~~ wanted to meet you."Say"Hi, I wanted to meet you."
"Just" shrinks you before they've even heard you.
Instead of"I'll call you?"Say"I'll call you"
A question mark waits for approval. Without it, you've decided, and it still sounds relaxed.
Instead of"~~Want to~~ grab a drink?"Say"Let's grab a drink."
A question hands them the decision. An invite only needs them to come along.
Instead of"I ~~kind of~~ like you"Say"I like you"
"Kind of" leaves you a way out, and all they hear is doubt.
Instead of"Let's get coffee ~~sometime~~"Say"Let's get coffee this week"
"Sometime" sounds like politeness. "This week" is a plan.
Instead of"~~...but no worries if not!~~"Say(Cut it)
Handing them a reason to say no is asking them to say no.
Instead of"I ~~can't~~ give that up"Say"I won't give that up"
"Can't" sounds like an excuse. "Won't" is your decision.
Instead of"~~Oh, totally, no worries at all!~~"Say"Sure."
When you hear a no, one calm word shows you really don't mind.
Instead of"~~Sorry,~~ quick question:"Say"Quick question:"
Apologizing first tells them you think you're intruding.
Instead of"I'm sorry if I hurt you"Say"I'm sorry I hurt you"
"If" turns an apology into a maybe.
Instead of"Goodnight."Say"Goodnight"
In a text, a full stop at the end can read like you're sulking.
Instead of"Hi!! It's Alex from the bookstore!"Say"Hi, it's Alex from the bookstore"
Stacked exclamation marks read as nervous. Plain reads as relaxed.