Read Him Clearly · L1 · Is he just bored?

Photos with someone else

You've been on three dates and haven't defined anything yet. Saturday night you're scrolling Instagram and see his story: he's at a Korean barbecue place with a group of friends, sitting next to a woman you've never seen, both of them laughing.

You feel a pang. Which next step takes the best care of you?

Pick one answer

Lesson notes

A summary of this lesson to come back to. To make it stick, work through the steps above.

By the end you'll be able to

Avoid over-reading his social media posts.

Key ideas

Social media tests

One photo, very little information

What you see is one second, one angle, the frame he chose to post. The person beside him could be a coworker, a friend of a friend, a cousin. When you fill in the blanks yourself, you usually fill them with your worst fear.

What a social media test is

Some people deliberately post flirty content with others to see whether you'll care or come chasing. That's testing you with jealousy, not communicating. You don't have to play along or put on a show of your own. Say plainly what bothers you, or choose not to respond.

Take these with you

✓A story is just a fragment. The more you stare, the more likely you fill in the worst version.
✓If it bothers you, ask calmly. Before you've defined things, he has a social life of his own.
✓Deliberately making you jealous is a test. You don't have to pass it or play it back.

This week's mission

This week, when a post bothers you, close the app and do something else first, then decide whether to ask.