Attraction · L1 · Strong and weak behavioral cues

Availability means steady interest

You and Emma have been hitting it off on a dating app. A friend tells you: "When she's warm, go cold for two days, then suddenly send something sweet. She'll start chasing you. That's called giving availability."

What is this hot-and-cold routine most likely to create in her?

Pick one answer

Lesson notes

A summary of this lesson to come back to. To make it stick, work through the steps above.

By the end you'll be able to

Replace giving then withdrawing, and touch used as "availability," with steady interest she can freely decline.

Key ideas

Availability, redefined
Steady interest

Give-then-withdraw runs on anxiety

When people talk about "giving availability," they often mean making her feel she never quite has you: warm, then cold; dodging "do you like me" with a joke; or picking a moment to hand out closeness through touch. All of these run on her anxiety, and here they're all red flags.

Availability, rewritten: steady interest

Here, availability means one thing: your interest is steady, said out loud, and your responses are predictable. If you like her, say so. Do what you said you'd do, and keep your own life. Every expression leaves room for her to say no, and touch always starts with asking in words and waiting for a clear yes.

Take these with you

✓Give-then-withdraw creates anxiety, not attraction.
✓Here, availability means one thing: steady interest, said out loud, with predictable responses.
✓Touch is never something you hand out. Ask in words first, and only go ahead with a clear yes.

This week's mission

This week, tell someone you appreciate one specific thing you like about them, or make one clear invitation, and be ready to accept any answer.