You ask someone to come see the city lights from the lookout on Saturday night. Imagine three parallel universes where they give you three different answers.
Which answer counts as real consent?
Pick one answer
Lesson notes
A summary of this lesson to come back to. To make it stick, work through the steps above.
By the end you'll be able to
Name the five elements of FRIES.
Key ideas
FRIES
What consent is
Consent isn't a gate you pass once and then it counts forever. It means the other person truly wants this right now, and has clearly said so. If either part is missing, pause and ask.
FRIES: five conditions
FRIES is an easy checklist. Each letter stands for one condition. All five have to be true for it to be consent. If any one is missing, it isn't.
Asking doesn't kill the mood
A lot of people worry that asking is awkward. But "Is this okay?" takes a few seconds. If they say yes, you know it's real. If they say no, nobody got hurt. What actually kills the mood is guessing wrong.
Take these with you
✓Consent means they truly want it right now, and they say so clearly.
✓FRIES: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific. All five, every time.
✓When you're not sure, ask. "Is this okay?" takes a few seconds.
This week's mission
This week, whenever you invite someone to do something, add "No worries if not" and notice how they answer.