Pick one answer
A summary of this lesson to come back to. To make it stick, work through the steps above.
Explain why, when your circumstances improve but you still feel you don't deserve someone, you get nervous, avoid and retreat to someone familiar.
Value is what you have: income, looks, education, style. It's visible, and it changes fairly fast. Self-worth is whether you feel you deserve to be liked. However high you stack your assets, they can't outweigh one quiet "I'm not good enough."
When you feel you're not good enough, the people you care about most start to feel like judges, and each reaction seems to rule on your worth. As the nerves build, you find a reason to cancel and retreat to someone familiar who doesn't make you nervous. Short-term relief, long-term standing still.
Self-worth doesn't come from adding one more asset. It comes from repeated moments of "no one approved, and I'm still standing." Credit your small progress by your own standards instead of waiting until every box on society's checklist is ticked before you let yourself feel solid.
This week, go to one date or get-together that makes you a little nervous, then write down one win by your own standards.